Dracula exists, or how to deal with an Emotional Vampire

vampire-batsMeet Emma the Life-Sucks or Jack the Me-Me-Me.

The life is always 10 times tougher for them. The world always revolves around their problems which are multiple times complicated than yours. They are fussy. Hobbies, entertainment, getaways? – Are you kidding? It’s you and I that can afford the luxury. They cannot, because they have no time for it. But you and I OUGHT to spend time to listen to their complaints and be supportive. In reality, it’s you and I that need help after even a couple of phrases exchanged with them. Just recall your emotions and sensations after a brief encounter with these “martyrs”. Drained energy, sudden mood nosedive, sleepiness and even headache (NB: If it eventually happened, classical music “prescriptions” can come in handy).

Congratulations, you’re dealing with an Emotional Vampire. Unfortunately, most of them may be among your colleagues or other people you (involuntarily) see almost every day. A thorny problem, isn’t it? Still, it’s solvable with these simple techniques and strategies:

1.  Avoid long eye-contact. Looking people in the eye is polite and appropriate, I agree. But prolonged eye-contact is a huge energy absorber. Forget about politeness and nice manners for a while when you deal with a “vampire”. Sustaining your energy should be your top priority in this case.

2. Do not react, argue or contradict.   Asking questions, demonstrating interest or contradicting their opinions is a zero-sum game. Listen, keep it short and do not react. Value your minutes and set a time limit. For instance, if you run into an grumpy neighbor who just adores “crying” about lack of money say, “I only have N minutes and then I should complete an important task (take care of my brother’s children or add something that needs to be done ASAP).

3. Shield yourself. This is the most effective technique, and perhaps my favorite one. It’s application is invisible yet powerful. From the very beginning of the contact, visualize a protective aura/energy/cloud around you. Imagine and even repeat to yourself that you are protected and safe against any “attack” from the negative girl/gal.

4. And finally, “Cut off any contact with the energy drainer”! A friend of mine almost screamed when I asked to share how she deals with them (I bet she had really hard time with her own “vampires”). At first, I thought it too radical as I’m not for burning bridges with people. But if even a brief encounter with your Dracula costs you a painkiller or a whole day with ruined mood, this is the only solution.

Energy vampires come in different types- Mr./Ms Complainer, Narcissist, Victim, Control Freak etc ., but the basic strategies to bounce back their draining attacks are the same. Perhaps, you may have your own way of handling the problem. Share with your tips and strategies in the comment section.

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2 thoughts on “Dracula exists, or how to deal with an Emotional Vampire

  1. Pingback: To-do or to-NOT-do list? | Siri's Room

  2. Pingback: Toxicity detected, or why are some people always unhappy? | Siri's Room

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